


Tell Me It's Okay

by livingwithmermaids



Series: Hinting At Something Different [202]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e15 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, Guilty Dean, Helpful John, M/M, Sad Dean, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 19:43:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4718189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingwithmermaids/pseuds/livingwithmermaids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John was an ass, even Dean could admit that, but the man knew exactly when Dean was upset and on the verge of reusing to get out of bed. He would always sit him down and demand to know what was making him so depressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Me It's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Season 5 episode 15 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Dean couldn't help hoping he would see his father again.

It was stupid, he knew, the body of John Winchester was down to ashes now, but he couldn't help it. He needed his father's help.

Dean was a very fucked up kid. After his mother died, he refused to speak for weeks; not even to Sam, who would cry his eyes out because Dean wouldn't sing to him. He only broke his silence after John stumbled into the motel they were staying at, blood dripping from a bug wound in his shoulder. Dean screamed his father's name so loudly the woman John had asked to watch them fell of her bed.

John was an ass, even Dean could admit that, but the man knew exactly when Dean was upset and on the verge of reusing to get out of bed. He would always sit him down and demand to know what was making him so depressed.

John had been shaking him by the shoulders when he told him that he was in love with Sam.

He hadn't actually meant to tell John his horrible secret, but his father had been extra persistent because his realization made him pick up a gun and consider shooting himself. The words had just flown out of his mouth and he was so terrified that John would skin him alive. But he didn't. John hugged him.  _He hugged him._

In the many years that he and his father had spent together, he couldn't once recall a hug that was meant to comfort him.

After Dean had blurted out his secret, they really talked about it. But sometimes, John would clap a hand on his shoulder, or give him a small smile, and Dean knew that on some level, John understood that he didn't have a choice. John knew that Dean would give anything to stop lusting after his brother, and he gave Dean his pity. 

He wished that John could come back, just to tell Dean that even all these years later, it was still okay.


End file.
